ME MINUS ONE

This weekend was packed for me! Not so much because of any activities in general, or because of a schedule full of errands. No, it was packed mentally. I think I've learned two of the most important lessons of my life, just from this last weekend alone. You never know when these diamonds are going to polish out for you, just always be ready to catch them. As the saying goes, "when the student is ready, the teacher appears."

I don't want to dilute the importance of either of the two thoughts that completely changed the way I see myself and the world around me, so I'll explain them one day at a time. Today I'll speak of the first lesson I learned. Oddly enough, I learned it from my husband. He's a man who's is much smarter than he gives himself credit for, and I really get incredible insights from him all the time.

This weekend we were on the computer finishing up a website for our business. If you've ever worked on a project for a long time with anyone, especially your spouse, it's clear that tensions can fly high. My husband is clever and witty with words and many times he cracks me up to the point of tears. However, when you are frustrated, your mind picks out different connotations and of course thwarts the whole conversation.

He cracked a joke, and I took it personally. I scowled at him and hoped he knew I was upset. After the scowl I also 'let him have it.' I gave him a piece of my mind, but I didn't feel better. Then, in his hidden wisdom, he said to me, "Why do you take things so personally? Take yourself out of what I said and you would think it's funny."

In that immediate instant, I took the sentence he spoke to me (which originally sent my nerves flying sky high), and took my own self out of it. You know what? It was actually pretty funny. Had I not let myself get so stressed from the work we had been putting in I probably would have done that in the first place. He wasn't trying to offend me, he was just trying to be funny. After I took myself out of it, I realized the situation for what it was. After that, I really lightened up.

How many times do we take a situation and twist its meaning until it is hurting us in a foolish way? The harm we bring on ourselves is shocking, especially when we want to blame others for the feeling. My lesson #1 for this weekend? Take yourself out of it. If someone cracks a joke, don't take it personally. If you are offered constructive criticism, take your personal self out of it and improve. Of course, abuse and offensive behavior is another point. When you are faced with something of that nature, make sure corrective action is taken. However, when you know you might just be a little tired, maybe a little down, be careful not to take yourself so seriously. If someone says something that you are inclined to be upset at; first take yourself out. Are you still upset or does it make sense, now? If the latter is true, you have just saved yourself time in agony. MAY YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!