Loose Control

"Consider this, if you wait for someone else to change before you allow yourself to have a winning attitude then you’re giving control over to others for how you feel." ~~ David Zack Holmes

Have you ever noticed a time when someone you are near to has done something or said something that has caused you to accept a reaction of frustration, anger or similar? Notice, I said "accept a reaction". I didn't say that the action had caused you the frustration in and of itself.

WHY?


Truly, it is because we are uniquely responsible for our own emotions. I believe that once someone embraces this concept, their life can NEVER be the same again. Where we as a society got the programming that other's actions can cause us dis-ease is beyond me. No one has that power.


For example: Let's say you got a phone call today from a complete stranger. This stranger doesn't even introduce herself to you and tells you that she has decided never to call you or get in contact with you again.


How do you feel? If you are normal, you probably don't care. So what? You never even knew who this person was.


Now on the flip side: Let's say you got a phone call from your significant other. She tells you that she has decided never to call you or see you again.


NOW how do you feel? If you are normal you would probably react that it would be hurtful and it would cause you to be upset.


Take a look at this scenario from an outside perspective. Doesn't that comparison seem a little silly? The truth is, the situation was exactly the same. The only difference is the person that called you. You put a value on the second person and therefore let it affect the way you felt. That is where you have control. You get to be the one who decides how to handle that kind of rejection or acceptance. You are the only one who can look someone in the face as they either call you a term of endearment or a name and give the meaning to what is happening.


Now, as much as that is good news...we have to remember that we also CANNOT control others. The actions and words that come out of other people are their own. If someone changes their behavior it won't make you happier or angrier. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE who can make yourself happier or angrier. So in an effort to keep your sanity, try this one on for size. DO NOT expect others to behave in a way that makes you feel satisfied, learn instead to come into peace with yourself so you can feel complete on your own.


The heartache you'll save along the way will make this trip of self improvement priceless for you. Remember: The only person you can change in you, so if you want to see a change in your environment, start by looking inside yourself and take the steps from there.


YOU ARE ALREADY GREAT!